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Grammar - Everyday Grammar - Giving and Receiving Compliments |
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Giving and Receiving Compliments |
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Giving
and Receiving Compliments
The lesson includes an audio program explaining this
grammar topic, the script for the audio program, a words in this story section,
and other important information. |
Audio Program
Listen to the audio program explaining this grammar
topic. Then read the following written information. |
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Giving and Receiving Compliments |
In the country of Japan, being told that your face is
small is very high praise for a woman. In Russia, if
someone tells you that you look like a cucumber, it
means that you look healthy and fresh. And if someone
calls you an old pot in Cameroon, it means you are a
wonderful cook.
All of these are examples of compliments – words of
praise.
And, as you can see, there are differences among places
and cultures about what is believed to be complimentary.
But most people agree that giving a compliment is a nice
thing to do.
In today’s program, we’ll show you some common language
Americans use to give compliments.
Appearance
Let’s break the discussion into three sections:
appearance, abilities and possessions.
We will begin with appearance. This includes the way a
person looks, the clothes they wear and their hairstyle.
You may have already used some of these common language
structures for praising someone’s appearance. Others may
be new. For example:
You are / look + adjective
...as in “You are beautiful” and “You look great today!”
A closely related structure simply adds a noun
…as in “You are a beautiful person"
In fact, this structure is also common for praising
someone’s abilities, as I will return to shortly.
Other common structures for complimenting appearance
are:
I like / love + noun
…as in “I love that bag!” and “I really like your hair.”
And: What a + adjective + noun
…as in “What a fun tie!” and “What a pretty dress!”
Listen to a short exchange:
Ooh, what a fun tie! Where did you get it?
Oh, thank you! I got it at a shop on 14th Street.
Abilities
We can also compliment someone’s character, abilities or
efforts.
Here’s a structure you heard earlier:
You are + adjective + noun
…as in ”You are such a hard worker” and “You really are
an amazing cook!”
Note that I added the words “such” and “really.” These
adverbs and others, like “very” and “so,” can add
strength to compliments.
Next is: You can really + verb
…as in “Wow, you can really sing!”
You are great at + noun / gerund
…as in “You’re great at bringing people together” and
“You’re great at math.”
And: You make a / an + adjective + noun
…as in “You make a fine leader” and “You make a very
loving partner.”
Listen to a short exchange:
I’m meeting so many interesting people. Sam, you’re
great at bringing people together.
That’s a nice thing to say. Thanks! And I’m glad you’re
here.
There are many ways to compliment someone's unique
talents, or their social or professional abilities.
Possessions
Americans also compliment people on their possessions,
such as a person’s home (or things inside the home),
car, bike, electronics or countless other possessions.
We might offer the compliment in any of these ways:
Nice + noun
…as in “Nice bike!” and “Nice phone!”
I love / like your + noun
…as in “I like your dining set” and “I love this
painting.”
Or: What a + adjective + noun
…as in “What a beautiful home” or “What a beautiful home
you have.”
Listen to a short exchange:
What a beautiful home you have! How long have you lived
here?
Oh, thank you! For about three years now.
Receiving compliments
Some people may feel uneasy receiving attention and may
deny the compliment in some way. But many receive them
easily. A simple “Thank you” with a smile is a gracious
way to answer a compliment.
You can also compliment in return by saying, “That’s
very kind of you” “How nice of you” or “What a nice
thing to say.”
Be sincere
Depending on the social customs where you live, some
compliments may be not be received as such. And
sometimes, they shouldn’t be. People can make
backhanded, inappropriate or insincere comments that
they try to pass as compliments.
A “backhanded compliment” is one that may be meant or
understood as an insult. Someone might say, for
instance, “You look great. Wow, I didn’t recognize you!”
This can suggest that the compliment-giver thinks the
person rarely looks great.
Other compliments are considered unacceptable. For
example, in the U.S., it is often inappropriate to
comment on physical appearance in the workplace. This is
especially true when a man comments on a woman’s
appearance. But it is acceptable for people to
compliment each other at work about work.
Another kind of praise is flattery – excessive
compliments that are often given in self-interest. An
example is praising your supervisor or professor in
hopes of gaining better pay or grades. It might work on
some people but insincerity can be hard to hide.
So it's always best to follow the first rule of giving
compliments: Always be sincere!
I’m Alice Bryant.
Alice Bryant wrote this story for Learning English. Caty
Weaver was the editor. |
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Words in This Story |
- cucumber
– n. a long vegetable
with dark green skin that is often used in salads or
for making pickles
- pot
– n. a deep, round
container that is used for cooking
- tie
– n. a long piece of
cloth that is worn by men around the neck and that
is tied in front with a knot at the top
- character
– n. the way someone
thinks, feels, and behaves
- gerund
– n. an English noun
formed from a verb by adding -ing
- gracious
– adj. very polite in a
way that shows respect
- insincere
– adj. not having or
showing true feelings that are expressed in an
honest way
- insult
– n. to do or say
something that is offensive to someone
- grade
– n. a number or letter
that indicates how a student performed in a class or
on a test
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Additional Information |
Practice
1 - Did you know that World Compliment Day is March 1,
2019? We celebrate by giving compliments to friends,
coworkers, family and others. Who are some people you
would like to give compliments to? Use the language you
learned today to practice in the comments section.
Here’s my contribution: You are such a good listener!
And your English is impressive.
2 - In American culture, if someone uses the expression,
“You look like a million bucks,” it is a very high
compliment on physical appearance. It means you look
amazing. (“Bucks” is an informal word for dollars.) What
are some common expressions that are compliments in your
culture? |
Source: Voice of America |
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Grammar Tips |
Can You Catch These Native Speaker Mistakes?
(Beginner - Listening)
An audio lesson to
help with your understanding of common mistakes. The English is
spoken at 75% of normal speed.
Click here to visit the lesson page with the written script for this
audio program. |
Commonly Confused Words: Part One
(Beginner - Listening,
reading)
A video lesson to
help with your understanding of commonly confused
words.
The English is
spoken at 75% of normal speed.
Click here to visit the lesson page. |
Commonly Confused Words: Part One
(Beginner - Listening)
An audio lesson to
help with your understanding of commonly confused
words. The English is
spoken at 75% of normal speed.
Click here to visit the lesson page with the written script for this
audio program. |
Commonly Confused Words: Part Two
(Beginner - Listening,
reading)
A video lesson to
help with your understanding of commonly confused
words.
The English is
spoken at 75% of normal speed.
Click here to visit the lesson page. |
Commonly Confused Words: Part Two
(Beginner - Listening)
An audio lesson to
help with your understanding of commonly confused
words. The English is
spoken at 75% of normal speed.
Click here to visit the lesson page with the written script for this
audio program. |
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